


Back to You

by ItFeelsLikeHome



Series: The Robert Sugden Break Down [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Reunion 3.0, Robert on the run
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-05-30 19:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19410127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItFeelsLikeHome/pseuds/ItFeelsLikeHome
Summary: Since the news broke about Robert/Ryan's departure, I have been really struggling to come to terms with it.  Here's my take on it and a way for me to deal with everything that's going on.  It won't be fully angsty throughout, and there will be fluff and romance.  The most important thing is that even though Robert has left the village, he and Aaron are still very much in love.  That love will be obvious throughout the whole of this story in every chapter and every action that both characters do.  They will, like how it should be in canon, find their way back to each other for the only ending I want: Robron back together.Or, Robron unable to keep away from each other while Robert’s on the run.I'm also aware that I have two other WIPs that I'm writing.  I'm hoping to finish Can't Breathe and Date Night soon.





	1. Chapter 1

Sleep loosens its pull on Aaron, leaving him on the brim of repose. He waits for it, the strong arms around his waist, the warm breath against his neck, but it never arrives. Any heat in his body drains out at the realisation that this is his reality from now on.

He’s bled so many tears that he’s unsure whether there’s any more left in his body. Phlegm lodges in his throat, tight against the bulging pain in his neck that has been a constant for the last two weeks. 

Thoughts of getting up stomp through his mind, but he’s lost any motivation. Nothing seems real since the day he drove away from the docks with thoughts of Robert’s last words being repeated in his head until every dream starts or ends with them. 

***

“I’m coming with you, Robert. You can’t go on the run without me.”

“I won’t let you do it. You’ve got your whole life here with your mum, Paddy, Liv and a new baby brother on the way. You need to look after Vic and her child.”

“But what about us? You and me? We’ve proven we don’t work well without each other. None of that other stuff matters if you’re not here with me.” He had wanted to say more, but the words choked in his throat until tears had fallen down his face. 

Robert mopped away the tears with his thumb. “I can’t go to prison, Aaron, for something I haven’t done. And if you come with me, you’ll end up getting arrested, too. I don’t want that for you again. You deserve to be happy, really happy. And that’s going to have to be without me for a while until I can prove my innocence.”

Aaron had seen the tears forming in Robert’s eyes and how he tried to remain strong enough for them both by blinking them away. 

“It’s not…” He paused as his emotions attacked his throat. “It’s not going to happen. Nobody else is going to make me as happy as you have. We were meant to be growing old together.”

Robert nods in agreement. “I know.” The tears he had kept controlled stopped following his instructions and pushed their way out of his tear ducts. 

They’d kissed, clinging onto each other and refusing to let go. “Just know that I will always love you, and I will come back to you. One day, hopefully.”

“I love you, Robert. I always have. I always will.”

***

Reliving that memory always cuts fresh like a shard of glass searing into his chest. He kicks the covers away from his body, feeling them suffocating his laboured breaths. He walks to the wardrobe and opens the doors, noticing all of Robert’s shirts, rubs his fingers up against the elbow patches on a blazer, breathes in the material that still smells of Robert’s aftershave, and wishes that they had gone home with Victoria that night. Then he would have Robert here with him now, would be able to have his husband wipe away the tears that are falling from his eyes. How will he ever able to move on and be happy without Robert beside him? The very notion is a ridiculous one. Robert is his husband: their promise is to love each other for the rest of their lives. This wasn’t meant to happen at all. 

He eases one of Robert’s shirts - a pale blue one with elbow patches - off its hanger. Fitting his arms through the holes, he wraps the shirt around his body, breathes in Robert’s spicy aroma and pretends that his husband’s arms are wrapped around him. He crawls onto the bed and curls himself into a ball, staring at the darkened room until light floods into it. 

His phone alarm goes off at six, but instead of getting up he stares at the wallpaper on his phone: a picture of them on their legal wedding day. Not even a year has gone by since the happiest day of his life, and he will be celebrating it on his own. It feels like a horrendous nightmare that he’s so desperate to wake up from, knowing that Robert away from him doesn’t make any sense, but somehow not knowing how to get off the rollercoaster and end this lonely ride.

He remains on the bed for more hours, ringing Robert’s phone, letting the tune ring out until it goes to voicemail and he hears Robert’s soft timbre. He always leaves a message despite Robert not having his phone with him. 

“I miss you. Wherever you are. I have spoken to the solicitor, and they are going to look over the case again. You know, see if they can find more evidence to prove your innocence. I’m struggling, Robert, without you. This is harder than when we were apart because at least I got to see you and I could talk to you. But I don’t know whether I’m ever going to see you again. Andy and Adam are on the run and it’s been years. I don’t know whether you’re safe or whether they’ve captured you or -”

The answer phone cuts out, and Aaron is left with so many words he wants to say but can’t. So he stares at the phone and continues snuggling into Robert’s shirt.

“Aaron!” 

He wishes he could pretend he hasn’t heard Liv’s yell, but she’s adamant that he will respond. 

“Aaron! Get up! Robert would hate to see you moping around. He’d tell you he doesn’t need you to give him an even bigger head than he already has.”

She charges into the room and opens the curtains before turning to look at him. 

“He’d also tell you to get his shirt off and stop ruining his clothes.”

“Leave me alone.” 

“You’ve got some post.” She throws the correspondence onto his face. He picks them off, mostly serious white envelopes with his name displaying through clear boxes, some for Robert. But there’s a postcard, one from Prague displaying Charles Bridge and the hundreds of love padlocks that are attached to its railings. It’s a strange postcard and an unusual image, but Aaron’s heart is beating harder and faster as he turns it over to see the familiar handwriting that is on the back. 

_Dear Aaron,_

__

__

We never did this, but I have added one for the two of us. I’m safe and I love you. 

_X_

Tears surge up in his eyes, leaving everything watery as though he’s looking through a well. He only wishes he could wish upon it, like a well. He would wish for evidence to prove that Robert is innocent. And he’d wish for his husband to come back home where he belongs. But for now, he will cherish this postcard until that day.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron goes to the scrapyard and takes along with him the postcard.

He reads the words over, recites every syllable to memory and takes the love declaration into his heart. The words never lose their sparkle when he sees Robert’s love for him. It’s been the only constant thing he’s wanted and needed for the last five years of his life, when he realised it wasn’t just sex between them. 

Knowing that Robert is thinking about him across those many miles, knowing that their love is so steadfast that nothing will stop them from waiting for each other until they can be reunited, is a relief. But since their reunion in February last year, he’s never doubted Robert’s love. It’s not about knowing that Robert loves him; it’s about knowing that they’re in different countries thinking of each other, missing each other and wanting to be together. That brings a small smile to his face and allows him to get out of bed and shower. 

He takes the postcard to the scrapyard and tries to sort through some paperwork, all the while glancing at Robert’s cursive hand. The door bangs open and Aaron sits straight in his chair, expecting to see Robert there, to give Aaron one of his cocky grins, to brush their lips together, but his heart plummets to the ground when Ellis enters through the door. 

“Aaron, mate. I’m glad you came in today. It’s nice to see you.”

Small talk annoys him, and he’s trying to focus on his breathing, so that he doesn’t break down and cry at the disappointment lodging in his throat. 

“Thanks,” he says, before turning his attention back to the paperwork. He tries to concentrate on each word, breaking them down into syllables and letters, but his brain can’t decipher their meaning. It’s like he’s reading a foreign language. 

But with one glance at Robert’s handwriting, he can read again. It makes sense. 

He chews on the edge of a pen, pulls the end between his teeth and gives into the urge to rub his fingers across the letters on the postcard. Imagining Robert on the bridge, picking that postcard and a suitable padlock for the two of them, engraving R&A on it, locking it on the railings before walking away. 

What if he had gone with Robert? Told him that he was being an arse and that they needed to leave together? 

Ellis thrusts a mobile into Aaron’s face. “Did you not hear it? It’s been ringing for ages?”

Turning it over, he looks at the unknown number - a foreign dialling code. “Hello?”

“Aaron. It’s me.” Robert’s voice glides over his body, adding warmth to his limbs like hot sun rays in the peak of summer. 

The shock makes him stumble over his words and he remains quiet. 

“Are you alone?”

He swallows before speaking. “No.”

“Can you go somewhere so we can talk?”

He scans the room for Ellis, forcing out a crap excuse that the signal in the portacabin is bad before speeding towards the door and pushes it open. He starts walking, runs as far away as he can before finally speaking. “Robert, I’ve missed you so much it hurts.”

“I’ve missed you, too. I don’t know why I thought I could keep away after last time.”

“Keep away? Are you back in the country?”

“No. I thought that might be too risky. But I need to see you. Soon.”

There’s no question about whether he is going to say yes or no. “Where? When?”

“I’m heading to another country soon - possibly France.”

“How long will it take you to get there?”

“A few days.”

“I’ll give you two.” If Aaron is being honest, he can’t sleep in that bed without Robert for another night. “I’ll fly into Paris on Thursday.” The thought of Robert having his arms wrapped around him, of nustling into his husband’s neck, is the only thing keeping him going. He feels his mouth form into a smile, the first since Robert left. “I can’t wait to see you again. I love you.”

“I love you.” 

He feels Robert’s words wrap around him, protective and secure like bubble wrap.

“We’ll have to be secretive. If we get caught, we’ll both go to prison. And I don’t want that for you, not after last time.”

“I can’t prove your innocence if I’m behind bars.”

“How’s that going? Are they any further in finding out who it is?”

“The only evidence is you stalking him and threatening him and the harassment. And the fact that your prints are all over his car. And that video Lee had of you threatening him.”

“It doesn’t look good, does it?”

“No.”

“Aaron, I want to find out what actually happened to the bastard and who’s trying to frame me, then I can come home to you properly.”

They talk for another hour, Aaron asking question after question to keep his husband on the phone, Robert answering everything and enquiring after life in Emmerdale, until Aaron acknowledges what they’re doing. “I don’t want you to go. I’ve missed hearing your voice.”

“Me, too. But I’ll be in touch about Thursday and where to meet me.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you.”

Aaron composes himself, curls the sleeve of his jumper around his fists to wipe away the tears streaming down his face. 48 hours. He could wait that long. If he kept himself busy, kept himself around other people, he could get through it. He now had hope. 

Hope of seeing Robert’s face again; hope of trailing kisses down the whole of his husband’s body; hope of that moment when it’s just the two of them rocking against the bed, the table, the settee or the wall, brings a smile to his face. It’s one that he tries to restrain, as he enters The Woolpack fifteen minutes later to see his mum and Paddy at the bar. 

***

They notice the subtle changes in Aaron: how the sparkle returns to his eyes; how his face softens into a smile when he thinks no one is watching; how he constantly checks his phone and at times grins at it. 

Chas asks the question, even though it is already on Paddy’s lips. “You’ve heard from Robert, haven’t you?”

He blurts the words out. “No. What makes you think that?”

Chas wants to say that she knows her son, and how he can’t wear a facade when it comes to his feelings for Robert, how the man she spoke to yesterday looks different to the man stood in front of her now. “It’s obvious.”

“Mum, listen to me, I haven’t heard from Robert at all. Do you hear?” His upturned lips fall into a straight line. Each word is wrapped up in seriousness and concern. 

“Sure,” she says with a smirk because it’s obvious that Robert has been in touch. She rolls her eyes at Paddy. 

Paddy touches Aaron’s arm. “What are you doing on Thursday? It’s my day off. I thought we could go into Hotten.” 

Aaron shifts in his seat, looks around slightly and picks up his phone before even answering Paddy. 

“I’ve got a scrap delivery in France on Thursday.” He moves in his seat again, avoids their eye contact before looking to the left of Paddy’s ear. “There’s a contact that wants me to do a few deliveries throughout France. I don’t know how long it’s going to be. It could be a few days or even a week.”

Chas pushes her lips together knowing full well why Aaron won’t commit to how long he will be in France for. It will all depend on how long it will take them to finally let each other go from whatever room they’ll be holed up in. Instead she says, “Tell Robert we miss him, too.”

Aaron doesn’t respond with words but with the sharp scrape of the chair against the floor as he stands and leaves the pub. 

***

That night Aaron leaves his phone on, pushes the sounds up to maximum before trying to go to sleep. His phone rings at eleven - the same foreign number as before. 

“Hi. This is a nice surprise.”

“You know me. I can’t keep away.”

And so they talk: about their plans for France; about how they can prove Robert’s innocence; about how Aaron needs to do some of his own digging, if the solicitor is not coming forward with evidence; and about what their plans are for the future after France. 

“You do realise that I won’t want to leave when I see you.”

“It doesn’t have to be this one trip and that’s it until I’m back home.”

“Good. You wouldn’t be able to stop me, if it was. You do realise those vows are for life.”

They talk until Robert has his train to catch. But hearing Robert’s voice that day allows Aaron to sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks. His dream starts with the sun shining through Robert’s hair as their limbs entwine on the beach until Lee destroys it by pointing a gun at them. It jolts him up from his bed and he knows that he needs to find that gun. That gun could bring Robert back to him for good.

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments or feedback are greatly appreciated. :-)


End file.
